


Walk Away

by Isaythings



Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Cut & Run, M/M, Some Fluff, Touch & Geaux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-06 16:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11604738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isaythings/pseuds/Isaythings
Summary: Alternate ending to Touch & Geaux.Zane walks away from Ty after all the lies.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short story about my favorite boys. Hope you all enjoy ❤

Zane looked at the chip Ty had melted down from his fake wedding ring on one of their undercover opts. "I believe in you" it read. Zane pocketed the chip and met Ty's watery eyes. He knew what he had to do but it didn't make it any less painful. He pulled Ty into a hug and held him for several minutes as the doors to the elevator opened and shut. He was afraid to let go. He was afraid that when he finally did they would no longer be partners. They would no longer be lovers. 

Ty mumbled something into Zane's shoulder but Zane heard it clear as day. "I'll always love you." It almost completely broke him. It almost made him wanna say fuck it and bring Ty back home with him and forget the last week. But he didn't. He couldn't. Not after everything that happened. They both knew what was coming and it hurt more than Zane could describe. He had to do it anyway because he needed to trust Ty to be with him and he just couldn't. Not anymore. 

Finally pulling back, Zane could feel the tears on his cheeks and knew they resembled Ty's own. The elevator doors opened once more and that time he caught them before they could slide shut again. He was hesitant to walk out though and instead caught Ty's eyes again. "I'll pack up my stuff and be out of the house before you come back. Probably be easier that way." He was surprised his voice didn't break and almost winced at the pain that etched itsself into Ty's face. "I'll ask for a transfer, I'll make something up so Mac won't be suspicious." He couldn't meet Ty's eyes anymore and they dropped to stare at the rip in the arm of his leather jacket. The same leather jacket Ty had given him on the first case they ever worked together. 

Ty didn't say a word and Zane nodded knowing if Ty did speak right then, it wouldn't be anything nice. He forced himself to look up once more and instantly regretted it. Ty looked absolutely devastated and Zane wanted to take the gun in his holster and shoot himself with it for ever putting that look on Ty's face. He wanted to apologize. To close the distance between them and hold Ty but instead he just closed his eyes and walked away without another glance toward the partner he just walked out on.

_____

"So you just let him leave?! What the fuck man! Why the hell didn't you go after him!" Nick was shouting so loud Ty was surprised the nurses weren't running into Kelly's room. "I thought you loved him!" 

Ty averted his eyes and looked up at Kelly instead. The Doc was hooked up to machines with a bullet hole in his chest and looked like hell warmed over but he was still giving Ty a small sad smile. "Leave him alone, Nicko." He winked at Ty before meeting Nick's eyes. "Its not our business. If Ty thought there was anything he could do I'm sure he would've done it. So just let it be, ok?" 

Ty closed his eyes against the pain Kelly's words caused. He was wrong. Ty didn't do anything to stop Zane from walking away. And he regretted every second since that day last week. He received a text from Zane early that morning informing Ty that all his stuff was officially moved out and he wished Ty the best. All Ty managed to reply was a pathetic "you too". He understood Nick's frustration. Ty himself knew he was a complete idiot and he could've at least tried to prevent what happened. But in a way he believed he deserved Zane leaving on him. He had betrayed the one person he loved most in the world and it was beyond any forgiveness. 

"It's okay, Kels. He's right. I should've went after him but I was too scared." It was hard to admit but he knew he didn't have to hide in front of Nick or Kelly. He was sick of hiding. "I do love him and that's part of the reason why I couldn't ask him to stay." 

Nick caught his eyes and it seemed like all the anger left the Irishman. He came over and put a hand on Ty's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Six." There was nothing else to say so Ty stayed quiet and kept his eyes on the floor. 

_____

"What aren't you telling me, Garrett?" Zane sat in front of Dan McCoy's desk back in the Baltimore field office. It was only two weeks after returning back from New Orleans where he knew Ty still was. It hurt to think about Ty so he quickly shoved that to the back of his mind and met Mac's eyes. 

"I just feel like DC would be more beneficial for me in the long run. I've thought very hard about this and I believe it's the best choice for me. Hell, Mac I'm not getting any younger and retirement is approaching fast. Might as well get everything I can out of this job." It wasn't too far from the truth. Zane did indeed think about the climb in rank and he thought he deserved it after these past years. He knew McCoy had to agree with that. 

"What about your partner?" The words were a punch in the gut but Zane knew how to hide his emotions well. 

"We talked about it and he agrees." He couldn't force himself to say Ty's name. Not yet. 

Dan stood up and came around the desk to hold out a hand towards Zane. Zane took it out without hesitation. "I can't say it's been a pleasure, Garrett but you will definitely be missed around here. Just wish Ty was going with you. He's going to be hell to deal with without you here to reign him in." Zane knew McCoy was teasing but he couldnt muster up a smile for the man. It was going to be hell for him too. 

"Thanks, Mac. Ill go pack up my desk and tell the others." Zane left the office with a heavy heart. 

_____

Ty stepped into his row house for the first time before leaving for New Orleans and he wanted to throw up. Without even looking around he could feel the loss of Zane's presence like a slap to the face. He almost turned back around and fled but knew he was only delaying the inevitable. He closed his eyes and counted to ten before closing the door behind him and walking further into the house. 

The first thing he noticed was the bookshelves. Those damn shelves Zane had insisted be built to hold all of those cheesy murder mysteries he loved to read. They were now void of every one of those books and Ty felt a pang of loss so strong he collapsed to his knees. He clutched the arm of his sofa and tried to steady his breathing knowing if he didn't reign in his emotions a panic attack would soon follow. 

Ty always envisioned it would be him walking away from Zane. Ty getting to toss all of Zane's stuff off his balcony. Now all he wanted to do was close his eyes and pretend those books still lined those shelves. That Zane's clothes would still be in the closet beside Ty's. And when he crawled into bed at night he pictured Zane already laying there with his arms wide open waiting for Ty to crawl in beside him and hold him while they slept. He could feel the tears threatening to fall but he refused to cry again over something he knew was never going to happen again. 

Ty forced himself off the floor and grabbed his bag where he dropped it when entering the house and climbed the steps two at time. He purposely didn't look in the bedroom and went straight for the guest room on the next floor knowing that it would be his room from now on. Ty knew that bed downstairs would still smell of Zane and that would be worse than the bare shelves. 


	2. Chapter 2

SIX MONTHS LATER

 

Zane Garrett sat at his desk in the DC field office playing paper basketball with his waistbasket. He finished all his paperwork for the week and knew it was just 45 minutes til closing time on a Friday night. He was anxious to get out of work and over to the new bookstore that had just opened up a few blocks from his apartment. He didn't go out much and when he did it was mostly to the movies alone or the diner down the street with the regulars who also frequented the joint. He had become a recluse and he seemed fine with it.

The phone clipped to his belt began to chime and when he looked to see who was calling his only emotion was a raised eyebrow before he hit the answer button. "This is Garrett."

"Zane, hi. It's Kelly. Uh, Kelly Abbott?" Zane almost laughed at the question in Kelly's voice and just managed a smile.

"Yeah, Kelly I know. I still had your number saved and I gotta tell you, I don't know any other man with the name." Zane allowed himself a chuckle that time and heard Kelly's return laughter.

"Still charming as ever I see." Zane heard a muffled snort in the background and narrowed his eyes at the phone. "Will you stop laughing, many men have that name." Kelly's voice sounded distant so Zane knew that wasnt directed at him.

"Kelly?"

"Sorry! Just Nick being his insufferable self." The tone in his voice changed though and Zane couldn't quite place what it sounded like until Kelly's next words. "Oh you don't know huh? Me and Nick are fucking now."

Zane couldn't stop the laugh if he tried. "Jesus Christ. Are all you Sidewinder boys gay?" Zane quickly sobered at his own words and fought not to think about the other gay member of the Sidewinder team.

Kelly laughed and explained that after being shot made him realize Nick was the love of his life and it left Zane with a hollow feeling. "But anyway, my love life is not why I called. Nick and I will be in the area tomorrow and we were wondering if you wanted to grab a bite to eat. We haven't talked in a while and thought it'd be fun to catch up."

Zane let his head fall back and rest against the chair. Kelly and Nick were the only two that had tried to stay in contact with him, telling him that just because him and Ty were no longer together didn't mean they couldn't have the occasional conversation. Zane kept that to a bare minimal knowing it hurt every time one of Ty's oldest friends contacted him. It had been months since he talked to either of them. It just reminded him of what he let go. But it had been six months since he left and even though the pain still lingered Zane knew it wasn't fair to either man to blow them off just because of the choices he made. So he found himself accepting Kellys offer and they made plans to meet at his apartment tomorrow around noon before hanging up.

At exactly twelve pm the next day there was a knock at Zane's door. He was a bit anxious to see Nick and Kelly but as long as neither of them brought up Ty he knew he could make it until after they left to have a break down.

Both men stood with matching grins in place as Zane opened the door and greeted the men he once considered friends. He was surprised when they both bypassed his handshake in favor of a hug and a few pats on the back. Nick stood just inches shorter than Zane and met his eyes knowingly. It still amazed Zane that Nick could so easily read him and know how hard it was to see these men without Ty there. Neither of them mentioned it and Nick stepped into the apartment letting the awkward moment pass.

"So Garrett, how the hell are you? Really?" Kelly was never one for beating around the bush and Zane just sighed knowing they would see past his false smile. The two men sat on Zane's couch with Zane facing them on the chair. He didn't know what to say to answer Kelly's question. He knew whatever it would be would sound stupid to his own ears. Kelly nodded as if he heard Zane's thoughts. "That bad huh?"

Again Zane wisely chose not to answer and just sent Kelly as sad smile and shrugged. "So was it the getting shot part that made you realize you were into O'Flaherty or was it the pain meds afterwards?" They all knew he was trying to change the subject but Kelly accepted it with ease.

"A little bit of both." He admitted and they all laughed. Zane could feel Nick's eyes on him but he chose to ignore him and focus on Kelly telling a story about a case Nick has just worked. He knew it would be hard to see these men but he forced himself to enjoy the company and listen to Kelly ramble on about treaure hunters and a man with a girls name worse than Kelly's.

_____

"Tyler Grady you open this door before I blow the thing to shards! I know you're in there and you can't ignore us forever!" Digger's deep Louisiana accent filtered through the row house and Ty even managed a small smile hearing the familiar voice. He missed his brothers and he knew he had been an insufferable ass towards all of them recently. He let out a sigh and unlocked the door bracing himself for the tongue lashing he knew would follow.

Ty was surprised to only see Digger and Johns on his front porch though. He looked around them to see if he could spot Nick's red hair coming up the driveway but no one was there. He gave questioning looks to the other two men but didn't say anything as he held the door open for them to enter.

Digger wrapped him up in a suffocating hug before Ty could protest. He knew he owed these men one hell of an explanation and was in no way surprised when he woke up to them yelling outside of his house. "Damn, Six! Where the hell have you been?" The hurt in Digger's voice made Ty's chest ache and he held the man closer trying to keep his tears at bay.

"I'm sorry. Just been a bad few months." He finally stepped back and was shocked when Owen too pulled him into a hug.

"We missed you, brother. No calls or texts. It's like you went ghost on us. Hell even O tells us you haven't been talking to him much either." Owen pulled back but kept his hands on Ty's arms. "I know I'm the last person you expect to hear this from and I know I owe you a damn good apology but just listen to me for a sec ok?"

Ty seemed to be holding his breath knowing what would be coming out of Owen's mouth. Yes he was damn surprised it was Owen saying anything at all but he just nodded knowing they wouldn't leave him alone about it until they got an answer.

"You fucked up, Ty. You really fucked up and New Orleans was bad. I'm not talking about the cartel or the voodoo shit either." Yeah, Ty knew exactly what he was talking about. "Honestly, I never thought a relationship between two men could ever be anything serious but seeing you and Zane, well lets just say it changed a lot about how I viewed certain things. And I gotta tell you, bud. Behind all those harsh words and punches you could see the love that man had for you. So can I ask you one question?"

Ty's jaw about hit the floor with Owen's little speech but all he could do was nod and stare at the man with growing curiosity.

"Why the fuck ain't Garrett here right now?"

Ty inhaled sharply and was glad for Owen's supporting hands on him or he would've fell over with the question. He didn't speak for a few minutes trying to sort out his jumbled thoughts. Why wasn't Garrett here? Why the fuck didn't Ty step up that day in the elevator and demand Zane to fucking listen to him. Maybe he did deserve for Zane to leave but that sure as fuck didn't mean he should have let him actually do it. He seemed to shake himself and met Owen's eyes. "Because I'm a fucking idiot and let the one person in my life I loved more than anything leave when things got just a little to hard." He dropped his eyes and stepped back from Owen. "I really let him down. I let him down worse than myself and worse than my brothers." Ty met Owen's eyes again and shook his head. "I'm tired of the secrets and I'm tired of keeping everything hidden when theres no reason for me to do it anymore. We're officially out of the marines now and I'm sick of hurting the people closest to me becsuse of some sense of honor and a damn code that no longer applies to me."

Digger stepped up and slapped Ty on the back and his grin made Ty wanna laugh for the first time in months. "Damn straight!" They all chuckled and for the first time in a long time, Ty felt like he was going to be okay.

When he finally seemed to calmed down he finally asked about his two missing team members. He was even more curious when neither Digger or Johns could look him in the eyes. "What aren't you telling me, boys?"

It was Owen who spoke up, Digger pretending to find the kitchen counter quite interesting all of a sudden. "Lucky and the Doc are actually in DC right now." DC. The only reason why they would be there was Zane. Ty found himself smiling at the thought. He never would have guessed Nick O'Flaherty to have visited one of Ty's exes to check up on him. Ty really was starting to believe what Nick had said to Garrett up on that hotel balcony all those months ago. Zane was apart of the team now whether Zane knew it or not. Nick didn't just check up on anyone if he didn't care for them. "There's one other thing you should know that Nick didn't know how to tell you." Owen stopped talking and met Digger's eyes from across the room. Both men seemed to wince which made dread settle in the pit of Ty's stomach.

"Just tell me." Even though he had a feeling he didn't actually want to know.

"Well Nick and the Doc are kind of a thing now." Ty stood staring at Owen and couldn't help the laugh that shook his entire body. Nick and Kelly? What the actual fuck! Were all the members of Sidewinder taking it up the ass now? "Well this certainly wasn't the reaction we were all expecting." And that just made Ty laugh even harder. Damn he missed a lot.

Once he sobered and stared at his friends, his brothers and gave them a small smile. "I owe you men an apolgy. I lied to you both and the others thinking it was something I had to do to protect you all. But now I see what an idiot I was for keeping anything from you guys. I knew you would have my back no matter what the outcome would be and I apologize for thinking otherwise." Ty closed his eyes and knew that wouldn't be the only apology he owed. He knew there were many more secrets and regrets he needed to get off his chest and for the first time in years, he actually felt brave enough to share them.

_____

Nick closed the door to Zane's guest room and climbed in the bed beside Kelly pulling him close to his chest. Seeing that look in Zane's eyes earlier that day made Nick realize what he truly had in his life. Kelly was a spectacular man and Nick was damn lucky to have the doc in his arms every night. He truly felt for Zane. But he also wanted to take him and Ty and smash their heads together. They were both being complete dumbasses. It was the most obvious thing in the world that they were both still very much in love with the other. He just wished there was something he could do for the men he considered brothers. And yes Zane earned that title the day he found out it was Zane that had killed Elias Sanchez's killer.

"What's on your mind, Nicko?" Nick smiled loving how easily Kelly could read him.

"Just wish I could do something for them, ya know? I understood why Zane left, hell I don't know if I can say I wouldn't do the same. But its been months and not even a single phone call?" Nick shook his head and squeezed Kelly tighter to him. "I couldn't imagine not talking to you for that long."

Kelly looked up to meet Nick's eyes, they were a light blue today and Nick almost forgot what he was talking about. "You'll never find out either, Irish." He brushed his lips over Nick's and sighed. "I get what Zane did too but we know Ty. He hides things from the ones he loves to protect them. Hell, we don't agree with it but we understand why he does it. I just thought Zane did too."

"We don't know the full story, Kels. But I have a feeling whatever Ty told Zane, it was pretty unforgivable. I don't see Zane walking away just because Ty was still in the marines." Kelly nodded in agreement and laid his head back down on Nick's chest.

Not eve a second later Kelly's head shot back up and he grinned at Nick. "I think I have an idea but we're gonna need the guys."

Nick studied his boyfriend before rolling his eyes and forcing Kelly's head back down to run his fingers through his hair.. "I'm not gonna like this am I?"

"It's nothing bad. Just the only thing I can think of at the moment." Nick sighed but listened to what Kelly had in mind and even he had to admit it wasn't too bad of a plan. Now they just had to convince Zane.

_____

The next morning Zane was surprised to see Nick and Kelly at his kitchen table in just boxers and t-shirts. He was sure they would be already packed up and on there way out. Come to think of it, neither man had left to go do whatever it was they had to in DC. Zane was starting to believe they never actually had business here and they just wanted to check up on him. It warmed his heart that they even cared at all.

"Morning." He went to his coffee pot and filled a cup wondering what the men in his kitchen had in store for the day. He was almost afraid to ask.

"So, Zane. We were wondering..." Kelly's words trailed off forcing Zane to turn around and raise a brow at him. Nick was glaring at his boyfriend and Kelly just shrugged feigning complete innocent. Zane almost snorted.

"What's up guys?" He took a seat beside Nick and stared at Kelly waiting for him to finish.

"Well how would you feel about a visit from the rest of the guys?" Zane's eyebrows shot up. That wasn't what he was expecting. Why would Owen want to come visit him? Last time he saw the man he wasn't exactly Zane's number one fan. "It's just that its Digger's birthday and we all wanted to celebrate together and we were hoping you would join us."

Zane sat staring at Kelly knowing there was a catch to this. But instead of asking the man, he turned to look at Nick instead. The Irishman stared back unflinching and shot Zane a smirk. "Ty will be there."

Zane stood up so fast thw liquid in his cup splashed over the sides hitting the table. "Thank you but I'm going to have to decline." With that said he turned back for his bedroom to get dressed.

He could hear the other two talking but he didn't care enough to try to listen in. Did they honestly think Zane wanted to see Ty aftet all this time? Of course he did. More than anything but he couldn't tell them that. There was no way in hell he was going. It hurt too much to even think about Ty nevermind see him again after all this time. There was just too much wrong between them still to even try to make anything work. Zane shook his head and continued to get dressed. He would not think about Tyler Grady anymore and he was kicking those two out of his apartment the next chance he got.


	3. Chapter 3

Ty pleaded with Digger and Owen to let him stay home. He wasn't stupid, he knew Zane would be at that damn boat and he was man enough to admit he was scared shitless to see Zane again. He wasn't 100 percent sure Zane would even go knowing how hard it was for him to even be in an environment with the boys drinking. The thought brought Ty up short. Zane relapsed back in New Orleans so in retrospect Zane could still be hitting the bottle. Ty hoped he was wrong and that Zane got himself clean when he left but Ty couldn't be certain about anything anymore. 

"Six, c'mon! You're not missing my damn birthday! O just called anyway and Zane won't be there. Probably for the same reason your punk ass is trying to bail out right now." Ty glared at his friend but knew he was right so he took the insult in stride. "I promise to make you forget about Garrett at least for this one night."

Owen chuckled from the balcony railing he perched upon. Ty almost wanted to push him off. "Not you too Dig." Digger just laughed and Ty felt the urge to push him off too. 

"Fine. I'll go but I'm not promising I'll have any damn fun!" Ty huffed and left the balcony and his cackling friends behind. "Bunch of idiots." He mumbled under his breath. Ty was glad Nick decided to host the get together this year. Fresh air on open water was exactly what Ty needed. No witnesses when he decided to throw his friends overboard. 

He quickly packed a bag and met Digger and Owen downstairs. Owen slung an arm over his shoulders, his voice low when he spoke in Ty's ear. "You will get past this Ty. And we'll all be here to help you." Ty didn't think he would ever move past Zane Garrett but he didn't tell Johns that. He managed a slight nod and followed them out. 

The sun was setting when Ty and the others arrived in the marina that held Nick's boat. Yacht was a more fitting word for the floating home but Nick despised the word. So Big Ass Fucking Boat was the next best description. Nick and Kelly were already aboard and Ty felt a pang of anger at the two for keeping their relationship from him. He knew he had no right to be mad over secrets but he felt a little hurt that his best friend felt like he had to hide that from him. 

Nick greeted them all and when Ty finally stood in front of him the Irishman looked sheepish. "Owen told me they told you." He ran a hand through his red hair and met Ty's eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Six. I just felt like shit rubbing that in your face after you and Zane..." He trailed off noticing the look in Ty's eyes and put a hand on his shoulder. "No more secrets. I promise."

Ty sighed and pulled his oldest friend into a tight embrace. "No more secrets." He agreed. And he meant it. 

"So this is it? A boat in the middle of Boston and you fuckers. What did I do to deserve this?" Digger was glaring at them all as they laughed at him. Ty just shook his head and shoved the bastard. Guess Digger would be his first victim. 

_____

Nick watched as Ty consumed his fourth drink of the night. He felt for his friend but he didn't know what to say or do to comfort him. Kelly's plan backfired spectacularly when Zane had shot them down a third time before they left to join them. He guessed it was truly over. He was nursing his own bottle when Ty sensed eyes on him and looked straight at Nick. He could tell from the look in Ty's eyes that he wasn't drunk yet. But he was damn close. 

Ty joined him on the bench seat and propped his feet up on the railing. "Feels good to be here. I'm glad I came." Ty shot Nick a small smile and clapped him on the back. "Even if every time I go downstairs I think of you and Kelly fucking now." They both laughed and Ty scooted closer to Nick. "Are you happy, O?"

Nick couldn't stop the smile if he tried. Being with the Doc was the best thing to ever happen to Nick. It was the piece in his life he never knew was missing. He didn't say any of that aloud knowing Ty would just laugh at him so he nodded. "More than I've ever been." 

Ty smiled and laid his head against Nick's shoulder. "I'm happy for you, Nick." Nick turned his head and placed a soft kiss at Ty's temple and pulled him in closer. 

"I think you should try to talk to him, Ty. He's putting up a good front but he's hurting damn bad." Ty jerked at his words but didn't get up and leave like Nick thought he would. So he continued on. "He's sober. Six months now." Ty let out a sigh and Nick knew that had to be weighing heavy on Ty's mind. Then he remembered something and let out a soft snicker. "Did you know Garrett could paint?" 

Ty laughed at that and put his beer bottle down on the floor. "Yeah. He's damn good too. I saw some of his work at his Father's ranch down in Texas when we went last year." Ty's voice was sad and Nick squeezed him tighter as he let Ty reminisce. "He does charcoal drawings too but he refused to let me see those. We compromised on him drawing me up my next tattoo instead." The sigh Ty let out broke Nick's heart. "Guess I won't be getting another one." Nick didn't know what else to say so he kept his mouth shut and his arm around his best friend. 

He knew Ty had drifted off to sleep some time later in Nick's arms when his body stopped twitching and his breathing evened out. Nick didn't bother to move letting Ty use him as a pillow. Kelly soon joined them after what seemed like a rough game of beer pong against Digger that left them both and Owen throwing the ping pong balls at each other. Digger had almost lept off the side of the railing trying to catch one. 

"Hey, Nicko." Kelly kissed the side of Nick's mouth before dropping down on his other side. "He doing okay?" He motioned toward Ty.

"Nope." Nick sighed and grabbed Kelly's hand with his free one. "Promise me something?"

"Anything." Kelly said it without a hint of hesitation.

"Promise me that no matter what happens between us we'll always be friends." It was a discussion they once had when they first tried out the relationship but Nick needed to hear it again. 

"I promise, babe. Always." Nick smiled at Kelly's words and leaned over to kiss him. 

"I love you, ya know."

"I know."

_____

Zane paced the dock of the lightly lit marina and cursed himself for the hundredth time for driving his sorry ass all the way to Boston. He had no idea what possessed him to get into that car and show up here without any explanation or reasoning behind it. All he was thinking about at the time was Nick's words. "Ty will be there." Dammit all to hell. He shouldn't care where Ty was anymore or what the hell that bastard did. Yet, there he was at three in the damn morning staring at Nick's boat. 

He was pathetic. He broke up with Ty for gods sake. He shouldn't have felt the need to see the man. His decision six months ago was the right thing to do. He needed space from Ty and he thought it was working. He picked back up with his AA meetings having to start over from scratch. It pissed him off but he only had his self to blame for that one. Zane even started painting again to Nick's sheer amusement. He don't know what made him buy those brushes but once he did the art just flowed out of him again. He didn't have any real friends, not counting the two sixths of the sidewinder boys anyway, so he stayed home and taught himself to cook. His shelves held recipe books to go along with the mystery novels Ty loved to tease him about. He changed a lot in those six months and he was damn proud of it. 

His job was more demanding and stressful at times but being the Assistant Special Agent in Charge had its perks too. He no longer needed a partner. He knew if he had to be assigned another one he would've quit on the spot. He was glad Burns promoted him even if he had to see the man almost every day. He hadn't forgiven Richard either but it was a sacrifice he had to make in order to be out of Ty's life for good. In all the time they've been apart Ty hadn't stepped foot back the in DC office. 

His life wasn't perfect by any stretch but it wasn't bad either. Zane knew he needed to grow as a man just like Ty had said. A Phoenix he called Zane. He was just trying to live up to that.

Only thing missing from his new life was Ty.


	4. Chapter 4

Zane stepped onto the Fiddlers Green reminding himself he was invited. He felt odd climbing the steps without Ty there with him but he knew he would soon be face to face with the man who haunted his dreams.

The lights on the boat were all out except for one small lantern on the bench seat at the front. Nick's silhouette shown in the light and Zane's heart dropped in his stomache when he noticed the man draped over O'Flaherty. Nick met his eyes and recognition shown in the green depths before he placed his arm down. Zane just realized Nick was holding a gun.

"Garrett? What the hell man?" Nick was trying to keep his voice down so he wouldn't wake Ty and Zane almost dropped to his knees in front of the man he once called his partner.

"I thought I was invited." Was Zane's only response.

"Thought you didn't wanna come?" The challenge in Nick's eyes was plain as day but Zane just shrugged and stepped closer to the pair on the bench. Nick looked down at Ty in his arms then back up to meet Zane's eyes. "He passed out a few hours ago, didn't have the heart to wake him."

Zane nodded and looked around the empty boat. "Where are the others?"

"They're downstairs." He shrugged. "I couldn't sleep." That was all the explanation Zane was getting. "What made you change your mind?"

Zane let out a pent up sigh and joined Nick careful not to wake up Ty. "You, actually." He ran his hands over his face and chanced a look down at Ty. "I miss him."

Zane felt a weight lift after his confession and leaned back in the seat sighing. He missed Ty more than he ever thought possible. And he loved him even more than that. No matter what he said he knew that was still true if nothing else. He didn't know for sure if he could trust Ty again but he had to see him. He had to know for sure if him walking away when he did crushed any hope for them truly being together again. His chest ached just picturing Ty telling him to go fuck himself. That he lost his chance back in that damn elevator in New Orleans. He hoped that wasn't the case. He hoped Ty would at least talk to him.

"Well, it's about damn time."

Zane snorted and very carefully reached out to run his fingers through Ty's short hair. He knew he was shaking but he couldn't stop it and he didn't care if Nick was witness to it. Ty looked restless, his eyes moving behind his closed eyelids and Zane was surprised they're talking hadn't woken him up yet. He let his hand trail down the side of Ty's face and lightly ran his fingertips over his bottom lip. Ty moved in Nick's arms and threw an around his waist hitting Zane in the hip. Zane instantly locked their fingers together and sat back closing his eyes. "He'll never forgive me after walking away like I did." 

Nick nudged Zane's shoulder with his own making Zane look over at the other man. "Do you deserve forgiveness Zane?"

Zane didn't break eye contact knowing Nick's words weren't meant to be as sharp as they sounded. It was a valid question. A question Zane didn't have the answer to. "I don't know."

"Then let me ask you this, does he deserve your forgiveness?" 

Zane looked back down at Ty's sleeping form and had to fight back the tears threatening to fall. "He grabbed onto the first solid thing he could to keep us together." At Nick's confused expression, Zane sighed and realized the others didn't fully know what Ty had confessed to down in New Orleans. "I was Grady's assignment. After Miami and the cartel, Richard Burns thought I might have went rogue. He thought I was a traitor." He didn't hide the bitterness in his tone knowing it would be a while before he could look at Burns in the face without wanting to hit him again. "Ty told me he took the assignment because it was the only way we could stay together."

Nick looked thoughtful and began to nod. "Ty logic." Was his only explanation. "So what makes you believe him now and not when he was telling you all this?" 

Zane squeezed Ty's fingers watching the man's face. Still so beautiful. "I don't know. I think mostly it has to do with the fact that I had time to process everything. He always jokes that I need to crunch the numbers before making any big decisions. He's right. When we were there and he first told me, I couldn't see past the lies. And it fucking hurt." Zane's thumb lightly traced the back of Ty's hand and he looked from Ty to Nick. "It felt like everything between us was a lie and I couldn't trust him anymore. But thinking about it now. Actually talking about it out loud makes me realize what Ty actually did for us."

Whatever Nick was going to say was interrupted by Kelly coming up the stairs. "I thought I heard Garrett's voice up here." He stretched his arms over his head and let out a deep yawn. "I didn't want to have to explain to O that I thought I was dreaming about you." He shot both men a wink and strolled over to sit on Ty's other side. Nick just rolled his eyes at his boyfriend and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Can't believe he's still out cold." 

They all looked down at Ty and Zane finally let his hand go standing up to pace in front of them. Zane was never one that had to constantly be doing something so he knew the pacing was a quirk he got from Ty. He smiled findly but didn't stop his movements. His thoughts were a jumbled mess and he had no idea how to put them into words once Ty finally woke up. He was scared shitless Ty would send him away before he had a chance to apologize. He could feel the other's eyes on him but he continued to get lost in his own thoughts. 

He was now completely sure he wanted that man back in his life but now it was up to Ty and what he wanted. Zane wasn't opposed to begging at that point and didn't care who saw either. Ty was worth it and he was an idiot to have ever thought otherwise. He knew Ty lied but he also knew it was secrets to keep the ones he loved safe. Why couldn't he believe that six months ago. It would be him who Ty was wrapped around right now if he had. 

Zane halted his pacing and stepped closer to the railing looking down at the water below. He hadn't touched a single person after leaving Ty and he was now starting to wonder if the same would be true for Ty. He couldn't ask the others not believing they would tell him the truth. Or hell maybe they didn't even know. He had a passing thought of having to buy condoms again if they made up and he wanted to throw up. Zane would have no right to be pissed about that seeing how it was him that pushed Ty away but that just made him even more pissed. Ty was his regardless and he would break the hand of any man or woman that touched his partner. He knew the thought was selfish but Zane couldnt give a fuck less.

He turned to see the other two still looking at him. Kelly was now on Nick's free side with Nick's arm around his shoulder. Nick's other hand was still resting on Ty's back and Zane walked over to sit on Ty's other side. He met Nick's eyes and it was the first time they communicated without words. Nick nodded and softly lifted Ty's head from his chest and rolled him so Ty was now leaning against Zane instead. He mumbled something in his sleep and his hand shot out almost catching Zane in the face. "Yea I'd deserve that." Zane whipsered at Ty but caught his hand and gently placed it on Zane's thigh. Ty's head was positioned right over Zane's heart and he was surprised the rapid beating didn't stir Ty awake. Instead the sleeping man nuzzled closer and and squeezed Zane's leg tightly afraid that Zane would get up and walk away. This time Zane let the tear fall and wrapped both arms around the younger man in his arms. "I love you, Beaumont Tyler Grady." 

Ty mumbled something again in his sleep but let out what sounded like a content sigh and didn't wake. Zane knew he had to be damn tired to not have woken yet and it made him sad thinking about Ty not getting any sleep. It was the same for him though. He couldn't sleep in a bed without Ty in it. They both learned that years ago.

"There's a mole at the office." Nick and Kelly both looked at Zane waiting for an explanation. He knew the thought came out of left field but he needed to distract himself. "Burns told me they found a bug under Dan McCoy's desk and that Ty was working on trying to find out who it was. I'm doing my best from DC but they insist its someone in the Baltimore office."

"The cartel?" Kelly's eyebrows climbed and shook his head. "Do you have leads?" 

"No. McCoy calls almost everyday with an update. But they have nothing. Burns thinks its someone that had to be close to the case. But I was the only one stationed in Miami. I almost hit again."

Nick snorted. "Next time call me. I'll do it for you." Zane knew from what Ty had told him, Nick didn't trust or like Richard Burns. Zane didn't blame him. "So it's someone in Baltimore with Ty. Probably someone close to him."

Zane thought about his old team members but couldn't fathom the thought that any of them were the mole. It didn't make sense. He had been going over everyone's file while in DC. Everyone but Ty's. No one had a connection to the cartel. Only Zane. "Just wish we had more to go on. Wish I knew what he thought about all of this." Zane was looking down at Ty again wondering what went through the man's mind while searching for a traitor amongst them. Had to be hell doing it without a partner. And Zane knew from what McCoy had told him, Ty refused to be partnered with anyone. The thought made him smile. He knew the other team members would keep an eye on his six so he didn't have to worry too much. But it was hell on Zane's nerves not being able to protect Ty anymore. From threats and from himself. 

"We'll help anyway we can, Garrett. Just say the word and we'll be there." Zane looked at the two members of sidewinder and smiled. He was glad to have the support of these two men and knew Ty would feel the same. Kelly was nodding at Nick's words and cuddled closer to his boyfriend. Zane was happy they had each other, wishing when Ty woke up he would still feel that way about Zane. 

Everyone got quiet again lost in their own thoughts. Zane was absently running his fingers through Ty's hair remembering the look on his face when he walked out of those elevator doors. That devastation he saw there made Zane want to pull Ty closer now and apologize until he was red in the face. Ty did deserve better than him. It was about damn time he became the man Ty believed be could. "I'll never let you down again, baby. Never again."

"Zane?"


	5. Chapter 5

That voice. God how he had dreamt of hearing that voice again. He wasn't so sure he wasn't dreaming right then. But the arms wrapped around him felt too familiar and safe. Those were Zane's arms. And Zane's scent and Zane's sexy Texan drawl. Zane was there holding him and Ty felt the tears threaten to fall but he pushed them back and opened his eyes. 

"Zane?"

Ty heard Zane's sharp intake of breath before the arms holding him tight loosened some. Ty looked up and was met with those dark eyes he had dreamt of for the past six months. For once in his life he didn't know what to say. He didn't know whose heart was beating harder but Ty was afraid that if he looked away Zane would disappear. 

"Ty." He almost groaned out loud at hearing his name between Zane's lips. Instead he reached up and traced Zane's jaw and let out a sigh of relief when the man didn't back away. "God Dammit, Ty." Ty reached up and wiped the tears silently falling from Zane's eyes and gave him a small smile.

"I missed you too, Garrett." He could never explain how much. 

"We'll give you two some privacy." Ty jumped at the voice not realizing both Nick and Kelly sat to Zane's left. "C'mon, Kels." Nick shot him a wink before dragging a protesting Kelly behind him. 

"But I wanted to see the make up!" 

Ty just shook his head and finally sat up taking the abandoned seat beside Zane. He let out a shaky breath and met the other man's eyes once more. "Is that what this is, Zane?" 

Zane reached out and cupped the side of Ty's face and he instantly nuzzled into it not caring what he looked like. He wasn't kidding when he said he missed Zane. "I don't even know how to begin to apologize to you, Ty but I want you to know that I promise to never stop trying." Zane's hand slid down to the side of Ty's neck and he pulled him closer. Ty went willingly. "I should have never walked away from you and I will regret every second of it until my heart stops beating." Ty opened his mouth to tell Zane it was okay but Zane wasn't done. "You are the most important person in my life,Ty and I need you to know I understand why you did what you did and I'm sorry for taking so damn long to realize it." Zane kept pulling until Ty was practically straddling his lap. "Please tell me I didn't lose my chance with you for good and that even though I don't deserve your forgiveness, you'll still give it to me anyway. Please Ty, please tell me you still love me."

Zane's tears matched his own and Ty didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Zane's shoulders burying his face in the man's neck. "I'll always love you." Ty had said it to him those six months ago in that damn elevator and he meant it. Just as he meant it right then. 

"I love you so much, Ty. I'm so fucking sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." Zane's arms were tight around Ty's waist but Ty didn't care enough about oxygen at that point. All that mattered was the man underneath him. 

"I'm sorry too, Zane. I promise no more secrets. Not ever again. I will tell you whatever you want and need to know no matter how classified. I'm done lying and I'm done pretending that it's justified. I will never hurt you again, Zane. I love you."

When Ty finally pulled back he shot Zane a smile and leaned forward. Their lips met and for the first time in months Ty felt like he would finally be okay. Zane's lips were soft and familiar and when he opened them for Ty he wasted no time in seeking out the other man's tongue. Kissing Zane was one of the things he missed most. He hated that he had to pull back to catch his breath. He let his lips linger against Zane's needing to feel him. It had been sox long months since anyone had touched him and the thought brought Ty up short. Was the same true for Zane? 

Zane must have seen the question in his eyes because he smiled up at Ty. "There's been nobody but you, doll. And there never will be again." 

"Just you, Zane. Just you." Ty captured his lips once more but was in no hurry to rush things. They had the rest of their lives and Ty was looking forward to it. 

 

_____TWO YEARS LATER_____

 

Zane sat perched at the edge of the counter with a book in hand as he watched his restless husband pace the length of the aisles. Zane cracked a smile when he realized Ty held a book of the complete stories of Edgar Allen Poe. He knew Ty was thinking about chucking the book without even having to say anything but he also knew Ty was wondering if Zane would have a fit over Ty throwing away a perfectly good book. 

Zane placed his own novel down and walked up behind Ty wrapping his arms around him. "Its okay, baby. We don't need it. And quite frankly it gives me the chills even having it this close." Zane felt Ty's sigh rather than heard it and his husband tossed the book into the trash can at the front of the aisle. "You okay?"

Ty turned in his arms and grabbed Zane's hands. "We're no longer with the FBI. The cartel has been erased. Our home is finally built and we open the book store tomorrow. Hell even the CIA doesn't bother us too much. So why do I feel like the other shoe is about to drop?" Ty rested his chin on Zane's shoulder and put his hands on Zane's hips.

"Because you're Tyler Grady. And Tyler Grady always thinks the other shoe is gonna drop." Zane wrapped his arms around his husband and kissed his temple. "No matter what happens or what life brings, we'll face it. Together. We made it through the impossible, Ty. And we'll keep on making it." 

Zane felt Ty's lips form into a smile against his neck and knew his partner was up to something. "How about we lock that door and you take me upstairs, Lone Star. I think I need some reassuring." 

Zane slowly smiled and pulled away from Ty's embrace to lock the door behind him. Once he was facing his husband he took Ty's left hand and brought it up to his lips to kiss the tattoo on Ty's ring finger. "I love you, Beaumont."

Ty's smirk transformed into something more serene and he pulled Zane forward so there was no more space between them. "I love you too, Zane." The kiss was longer that time and when they finally pulled back that same smile was still in place on Ty's handsome face. "Always."


End file.
